


A Thick Silence

by YeahMeRule



Series: JuZen oneshots [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Frenemies, Internal Monologue, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mistakes, Prologue, Realization, car crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeahMeRule/pseuds/YeahMeRule
Summary: Jumin Han thinks of Zen and realises something.A horrible mistake is made.





	

There was fog outside. Softly sweeping through the cold night it was deadly, and the night was dark. No cars were on the roads except for the occasional cab that drove by to seek passengers. Yet, there were not many out that night just to match the pure emptiness of the world. Jumin felt alone as if he was the only breathing creature on the surface of the Earth. The feeling was for the first time in his life suffocating, and did not help him figure out anything. For something was on his mind that he could neither help nor deny.

With a sigh, he sat down on a bench outside in the park close by his penthouse. Somehow he had hoped that the cold wind would soothe his mind, but it did not. As he was sitting there, he knew that the next day would be cold. Winter came closer, and this fog simply told that the coming day would be much colder than the one before. The colourful leaves on the trees had already fallen and were laying in a wet, brown mess around his feet. Just a few weeks ago this park had been shining in beautiful autumn colours, and now it was dead, naked. It was depressing to say the least.

But despite the depressing weather, Jumin had had a nice autumn. He would like to say that the autumn had been more challenging than any other, and he would not be exaggerating if he did. Work had filled his life like it always did, and how he liked it to be. The difference now from before was that he had to work together with someone he never thought would agree to cooperate with him at all. Being a member of the RFA, he had always seen it as his duty to take care of the rest of the members, and as a part of that he had offered Zen work on more than one occasion. Always, always Zen denied this help, but for some reason this autumn he had said yes. Perhaps it had been the fact that Zen already knew the product that made him say yes in the first place, but Jumin liked to think that Zen came to him to seek company. Of course it was a stupid thought, yet he could not get it out of his head.

Jumin himself had never thought that human company was something to desire. By his side he had his wonderful Elizabeth 3rd whose presence was the only thing he needed in his spacious apartment. Being greeted by her wonderful eyes everyday truly made him happy. With her company, humans seemed to lack more and more of the perfection that his Elizabeth possessed. Even when his father kept bothering him about getting a wife, he saw nothing but his wonderful lady before him. Especially since women had shown him more than once that they desired nothing but the power and money that Jumin had been born with. Nothing made him desire a wife, or a life partner that was another than his wonderful cat.

Therefore, he was shocked to find himself sitting on the bench, missing Zen of all people. They had done nothing but work together, and somehow during this time they had grown close. Or had they? The question spun through Jumin’s head, and he quickly shook it to get some order in the chaos he had created. If he was going to figure this out, he would have to start from the very beginning.

During the end of September, his company C&R International had started to sell a specific brand of perfume. It was nothing special, nothing big in Jumin’s perspective, but he could not deny that the company who made the perfume filled the criteria of becoming famous. From before Zen had already modelled for them, so to Jumin it was obvious that he would ask him whether he would like to model for the perfume once again though this time under C&R. At first Zen had denied his offer, but as he saw which sort of perfume it actually was, he decided to model nevertheless. Apparently Zen knew those behind the brand, and told Jumin more than once that he only did this for their sake, and nothing else. Without a reason to doubt this, Jumin agreed but not without teasing Zen about it. Teasing the actor always amused him for a reason he had not grasped at time, and could still not grasp this foggy night. Anyhow, the work they had started ended up growing. After the release of the perfume with Zen now so elegantly modelling for it, the brand grew significantly. From being a barley known product only sold in smaller food stores, it grew into a perfume so well known that the price even increased. Zen had helped the brand and the makers behind it and had at the same time given him even more work together with Jumin. Both of them were reluctant to this, believing that the small photoshoot from earlier would be the only thing they would do together only to end up with something much bigger. Yet, Jumin asked Zen once more if he wanted to continue, and he got yes as an answer.

September passed into October and just after one month Jumin had now fixed so that Zen even had a couple of commercial films that were shown across all channels. Not only was it a burst for C&R, but Zen had gotten more requests for plays and even for a movie in the midst of it all. Jumin himself enjoyed the great success this seemed to be, but something had started to bother him. While they worked together, he had been forced to listen to Zen more and more. From first seeing Zen’s words as unimportant since he himself knew what was the most efficient for their work, he had started to take in his ideas. When Jumin learnt to listen, and accepted the other’s ideas, it seemed as if Zen started to listen too. Somehow listening gave Zen less and less reason to hate him. From their very first meeting Jumin had tried to show that taking his offers would help Zen no matter whether they were because of his skills or not, but now he could see why Zen wanted to do it on his own. This perfume was his accomplishment as it was something he had started on his own in a way despite the fact that he took the offer from Jumin. Most probably that was the reason for him growing more and more accustomed in Jumin’s company. This change slowly got to Jumin as well as he found himself less and less at his apartment as he was instead at Zen’s place to plan their work together. Usually their voices were firm and formal, cold and distant. Jumin did not let feelings get in the way of his work, but the more time he spent in Zen’s apartment, the more he started to tease him. It was not the same teasing as before, but instead it was what others might see as a “friendly” teasing.

Friendly? The word seemed to linger in Jumin’s mind the more he thought about. Not until now had he considered them to be friends. Perhaps they had indeed become friends during the cold days that had been so warm in Zen’s company. Even with the dark weather, he found reasons to keep his mind bright, and that reminded him of something that had happened a week ago, something that made this confusion within him worse.

Exactly one week ago he and Zen had been at his apartment for the first time during their time together. For the occasion, Jumin had closed Elizabeth 3rd in a room in the apartment so that Zen would not be affected by the hair which he was allergic to. He had even made sure to tell the housekeeper to clean his home more thorough than ever. Of course he was always firm with having his apartment sparkling clean, but this day he wanted to be extra sure. The oddest thing was not how he had been considerate of Zen’s allergy for the first time as it was how he did not even once think of the fact that he put Elizabeth 3rd in room. Without hesitating he had taken her and put her in with only Zen in his mind. As the other finally arrived, hesitant due to his allergy, Jumin had informed him that Elizabeth would not be bothering him during his visit. After inviting him in, he made sure to make him feel welcomed before they finally started to work. It was not until Zen was about to leave that the odd thing happened. As they stood in the door, discussing the last details of their plan for the next commercial, Zen had suddenly laughed. The sound had surprised Jumin despite how he had heard it before.

“What?” Jumin had asked with a frown, unable to understand the reason for the soft sound that made his body warm.

“I just realised something” Zen had answered with the smile still playing so gently on his pale lips. Then and there Jumin had felt an odd sting in his heart which he had been incapable of understanding. Yet, before he could think of it any further, Zen had continued his explanation. “It’s weird how one perfume and some work managed to make you listen for once” he said, “Before I thought that you were hopeless and that I could never EVER work with you… Seems I was wrong!”

Even more surprised than before, Jumin had to agree with what he was told. One perfume had started this, and one perfume had been the beginning of something that he could not deny made him happy. With the sting now gone from his heart, he instead felt how he filled up with brightness. It was such a pleasant, such an odd feeling that he couldn’t help himself from letting a smile similar to the other’s show on his lips.

“Well, I suppose that the greatest opportunities come unexpected” he answered without thinking. As soon as the words had escaped him, the smile on his lips had vanished, and instead he looked serious as always. His own words had surprised him so much that the brightness from before had been clouded. Surely, his statement was meant for the business opportunity and nothing else.

For a moment they stood there in silence, just looking at each other. Silence had echoed around them, and Jumin felt as conflicted as before as he noticed a hint of surprise within Zen’s eyes. He could not understand any reason to be surprised like that, but before he could ask, Zen scratched the back of his neck with a yawn.

“Anyway! It’s late and meeting tomorrow! Don’t be late! Good night, Jumin” with those last words, Zen had left and Jumin had closed the door behind him. Once again alone he had dug his head into work and only now he could proper examine the smile he had shown. It was not like it was his first smile towards Zen. More than once had he smiled around him to those they worked with as to make them more comfortable, but never had he smiled so honestly. Then and there his smile had been pure, it had been happy. Why?

A groan pressed out from Jumin’s chest as he buried his face into his shivering hands. Slowly the cold creeped in beneath his clothes, made him freeze, and his skin to crawl. Why had he been so happy? When he said that the best opportunities came unexpected, he did not mean the work they both did. He meant the fact that in all of this he had gotten the wonderful opportunity to spend time with Zen. Before he was not fond of being around him since they always ended up fighting, yet now he found joy in his company. More than once Zen showed determination Jumin purely admired, and a kindness unexpected. He had shown that despite his rough attitude to him, he was willing to learn, that they were not doomed to be enemies. Instead they had become unlikely friends, and Jumin could see himself in Zen. Proving himself, working hard to reach his goal, determination, stubbornness, they had this all in common. The feelings which he had for Zen was no longer merely acceptance, but something deeper which he had never before felt. He was nervous, he was happy.

The realisation came slowly, creeping up on him similar to the fog that surrounded him. All these feelings he felt, everything he had made so clear in his head, it all reminded him of a conversation he had once had with his father. His father had just gotten a new girlfriend, and was ranting about how beautiful she was, and how she made him feel. “She makes my heart hammer”, “she makes me happier than ever”, “being around her feels like being around the sun”. These exact words reminded him of V, too, whom once had talked to him about how he felt for Rika. Rika was his sun, and he was hers. Love was what both his father and V had felt when they talked so fondly, and for the first time Jumin could relate for the same warmth existed within him. Surely, Zen was not perfect, but he made him happy. Zen did neither look up to him, he did not want him for his money, nor did he see him as anything less than an equal. They were in their own way on the same page, together, and despite how odd it was to even think, he knew. Somehow during these weeks, Jumin had fallen in love. The warmth he felt, and the joy he experience by getting closer to Zen had made him fall head over heels.

Quickly he fished up his phone from his pocket and called Assistant Kang. Even though it was in the middle of the night, he had to see Zen, he had to confirm that love was truly what he felt. If he was in fact in love, he would have to give Zen the option of ending their cooperation. Personal feelings should never get in the way of work, but these were too strong, too pure to fully keep away. Therefore he would have to be honest both to himself and to Zen by expressing his feelings clear for him. Being homosexual was nothing wrong, he knew that for a certain and would not deny it, but not everyone thought so.

As he got no answer from Assistant Kang, he groaned out once more in frustration. Desperately he dialled Zen’s number, and put the phone against his ear as he headed towards the penthouse once more. In one way or another he would have to see Zen if he so took himself there on his own.

“Jumin…?” Zen’s sudden raspy voice surprised Jumin, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Hearing it made his heart hammer, and for a while he could not answer the sleepy voice that sounded so adorable through the phone. “Why the fuck are you calling in the middle of the night?”

“Sorry, I do not mean to bother you” Jumin finally managed to speak and as he did he could notice the desperation in his own voice, something that surprised him. Usually he could control his feelings with ease, but with the fog thick around him, he felt as if the only things that existed was he himself and Zen’s voice. In this odd situation, he could feel everything so clear in his heart.

“I need to meet you right now, so if it’s okay I’m going to go to your house right now…” he quickly continued and he heard the rustling of bed covers in the background. There were no doubts that he had woken Zen up from his sleep, and that made him feel a hint of guilt.

“Why, though….?” Zen replied in a groan and the question reminded Jumin of what he came to do. Without thinking too much, he started to make his way to the garage which laid just beside the large penthouse. He knew exactly where Driver Kim kept his keys, and with his card he had access to them considering he was one of the owners of all these cars.

“I need to speak with you about a very urgent matter” somehow he found the right words to say despite his messy mind as he got out the keys and moved towards the car. His steps echoed in the large hall as the lights flickered above him. In his desperation he had not even noticed that he was inside, and even unlocking the car that stood perfectly parked by the exit. Even if he was a bad driver, he could probably managed to drive out the car without any bigger issues.

“Did something happen?” Zen asked and Jumin quickly had to deny it so that the other would not worry. Something had happened, but depending on it could be more or less serious.

“In a way” he said as he finally sat down in the driver’s seat. It felt odd to sit there after such a long time, and it took a while for him to remember how to start it. Yet, he decided to wait with that until he was done with his phone call. Driving while speaking on the phone was dangerous, and he should keep away from doing so. “It is something important and after I have talked with you about it, you have to make the decision whether to keep working with me or not. Of course you will still get your money no matter what, so don’t worry about that…”

For a while he heard nothing from Zen, and he almost thought that he had fallen asleep as he heard a slight huff. “That sounds serious… Come here, you” Zen said, and Jumin could easily hear that he was half asleep as he spoke. “I will sleep now so ring the doorbell super loud or else I won’t hear it… If this ends up being unimportant I will beat the shit out of you, bastard… I need my beauty sleep…”

Even with his head a mess of feelings and worries, Jumin once again found Zen adorable with his sleepy voice and threats. A soft chuckle escaped him, and he leaned his forehead against the wheel of the car. If he could only be there now and see that sleepy face, he thought, something that made him even more eager to get there. “Don’t worry… See you soon then… Bye” he said and with that he hung up, and started to drive out from the garage. For the first time in his entire life he felt so alive with all the feelings that roamed so violently within him. Before he had merely done what was expected of him, but never truly done this with such a fiery passion. He knew that if he got the wonderful opportunity to share this joy with Zen, if Zen possibly felt the same, he would make sure to feel strongly every day, to make Zen happy. With him, he knew that life would not be the same and would definitely not be easy, but it would be worth fighting for.

Jumin Han never arrived at Zen’s apartment. On the way he lost control of the car, and the last thing he saw were excruciatingly bright headlights heading right towards him. The last thing he felt was an empty, wrecking guilt.

He had failed.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, okay I'm sorry... I had to write Jumin right before the accident in "Hear My Words"...  
> Do tell me if you want me to write more  
> I get my only energy from compliments, heheeheheheheeh


End file.
